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老公过生日，我用了三天时间，请了520个人，有朋友和陌生人，给我老公发信息‘我爱你’。他生日那天我问他有没有收到特别的礼物，他说没有什么啊？我说你没有收到短信吗？他说是你干的！！！我去！！我怕你吃醋删了一个晚上！！

开着车行驶在回家的路上，前方车辆突然刹车，结果我没来得急反应，车子就撞了上去，然后我赶紧下车查看，这时从前车下来一个漂亮的女孩，支支吾吾的拽着我，我心想怎么会伤到嘴，难道yaodao舌头了？走近前车往里面一看，赶紧拨打了急救电话，心想以后可能再也不会有这样大胆的想法了......

三个女婿聚在一起吹牛。第一个女婿得意洋洋地说：“我岳父是个智商超高的人，他玩数独从来不看答案。”第二个女婿不服气地说：“那不算什么，我岳父更厉害，他玩围棋从来不下棋子。”第三个女婿笑了笑：“你们的岳父还不如我岳父，他玩国际象棋只用一颗国际象棋棋子，且棋子永远不浮出水面。”